This illness, this illness that has become a part of me and my life, gives what it gives when it wants to give it. And you get nothing more and nothing less. Rheumatoid Arthritis is so sporadic, so impulsive, that one can't predict how they will feel one minute to the next, let alone one day to the next. Nothing more and nothing less. This illness is all about more and less.
More doctor visits. More sick days. More stress. More medications to try. More medications to stop. More medications to research and wonder about. More pain. More weight on my body. More weight to lose. More doctor visits. More blood drawn. More decisions to make. More prayer. More people to disappoint. More invitations to turn down. More events to miss. More pain. More advice from others. More fears of the future. More exhaustion. More tears. More uncertainty about our future. More reliance on the Lord. More prayer. More faith. More of a relationship with God!
And the less...
Less independence. Less money. Less reliability. Less patience. Less freedom. Less energy for work, my children and my husband. Less time. Less ability to focus on anything. Less support from others. Less understanding. Less working out. Less smiles. Less cleaning. Less of a friend, a sister, and a teacher. Less pain-free days. Less movement. Less hope for getting better. Less walking. Less of a wife. Less of a mom. Less sweating the small stuff. Less concern over my vanity. Less control. Less predictability. Less of me.
This is my life. This is the new me. This is Rheumatoid Arthritis...more or less!
Many blessings for Sunny days ahead!!